masssy: it pisses me off when I plan a conversation in my head and the other person doesn’t follow the damn script
REBLOG IF YOU HONESTLY THOUGHT YOU’D NEVER GET...
irresponsibleeyouth: The trick is to not let people know how really weird you are until it’s too late for them to back out.
This is what Yahoo paid $1.3 Billion for.
you-told-me-think-about-it: ohitsjustkim: fairgroundsoldier: 01012012: friendly reminder that after each passing day you are closer to finding your soulmate and your grave and eating your next pizza this sums up all of tumblr
manlesbian: nandepumkun: princessofalchemy: Hello I am the butt inspector I am here to inspect ur butt Some might say you’re an analyst Jesus fucking christ
suchagaymer: jerkidiot: if you eat a chicken and egg sandwich, you’re basically eating one thing at different times of its life like when you eat a baby and an elderly person at the same time.
pizza: how many times is it appropriate to say ‘what’ before you nod and smile because you still didn’t hear what they said
tommilsom: theroachsalad: saraunderthesea: ...
snapchatting: you are under arrest for being attractive and ruining my life
meladoodle: 14 found dead after intense gif/jif argument
chucklerjuergens: am i allowed to just pour vodka over my ice cream or is that socially unacceptable
Stay close to anything that makes you glad you are alive.– Hafiz (via iamnotaslag)
at-boundary-conditions: what if humans have cheat codes like if you jump 14 times and then punch + kick ok awesome now i can walk on water and do calculus
toxicrants: Don’t say you’ll ‘treat a girl like a princess’ unless you’re prepared to follow up on that shit. If I’m not living in a castle by the sea with diplomatic powers over a small country then you’re a bitch-ass liar.
patrick-stump-hand: pizzaswag: abandoned theme parks look rad as fuck someone go explore one with me you are the first five minutes of supernatural
glowpinkstah: fuoco-go: gendertier: gendertier: gendertier: i jUST WALKED INTO MY MOMS ROOM AND THERE’S A DACHSHUND IN HERE WE DON’T OWN A DACHSHUND???? ???????? okay this dog is so sweet but where is my mom omfg Your mom has been turned into a dachshund. It’s you’re responsibility to lift the curse. Your adventure is beginning, my friend. Fate be changed, look inside. Mend...